Optimism

TB has been bouncing around from one place to another. I arrived home from church yesterday to find him online waiting for me. His time was almost up but he was able to tell me where he was, give me a quick update and say “love you…bye” It’s one of the things you learn to accept. I could sit here and feel sad that I didn’t get home earlier and that we didn’t have more time, but I feel fortunate that I arrived home in time to chat for a few minutes. I know where he is and that he’s safe. It’s the not knowing that’s difficult to handle at times. Who am I kidding…it’s always hard to handle. Where is he? What is he doing? Is he warm enough? Is he eating enough?  Is he spending the night on a craggy mountaintop?  It can be overwhelming. I’m generally a very optimistic person but there are times when I have to work at it. I’ve discovered that my mind can quickly wander into the danger zone of negative thinking and worry. It serves no purpose, of course. It certainly doesn’t help TB and it drags me down. I promised him before he deployed that I would keep my game face on, so I remind myself that he is physically, mentally, and emotionally strong, well-trained, the ultimate soldier surrounded by good men.