Communication Frustration

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were frustrating. No word from TB. That's to be expected. The frustrating part was Monday one of his friends mentioned receiving a text message from TB with his Afghani cell phone number. Yesterday that person received a phone call and another friend received a text message. Both are in Germany. The second person happened to be chatting with me and mentioned to TB that I had not heard from him. He responded that he had sent me two text messages. The idea that perhaps he would be in a place for the next year where his main means of communication with the outside world might be phone texts that I can’t receive made me very sad. On the other hand it was good to know he had tried.

Then wouldn’t you know, my mother’s intuition whacked me in the head in the middle of the night and I felt I needed to get online. The instant I signed into Yahoo Messenger, TB signed in, too. He immediately let me know that over the past several days he tried to send 3 text messages. He said phone calls would not go through to the States. I don’t know why it will work to Germany and not to the U.S. I told him that I know some soldiers who have used their Afghani cell phones to call home. TB said maybe he needed a different sim card.

He was able to stay online for two hours. It was sooo good to chat! He is in good spirits even though they are not at their final destination yet and do not know when they will be. Having that time to catch up put me in much better spirits, also.

Another Box

Another box arrived from TB. I feel badly for our postal carrier. The box weighed over 31 pounds! It has things he wants me to send later - 9 books, his winter jackets, some spare clothing, and a few other items. I'm sure he will let me know when he wants each thing. At this point it doesn't matter since I still don't have an address! That too will come in time.

Silence

Today has been one of silence. I'm not sure exactly what that means. I can speculate, but even that leads to several scenarios, and so, I wait.

I last wrote on Thursday and mentioned we'd had a short chat. Later we talked for much longer. We also had a chance to chat on Friday and Saturday. By Saturday TB was bored and ready to move on and get things going.

Partway There

TB is temporarily in a different place attending briefings, waiting for the rest of the platoon to catch up. We had a short chat yesterday and an even shorter one today. Perhaps he will be back online later. He was able to use his own laptop at the MWR. After a while he got offline so one of his soldiers could use the laptop. The MWR was crowded and apparently the line to use the public computers was very long.

Dogtags

A 2 1/2 minute call. I hung up the phone and picked up the dogtags. Wearing them will be a part of what I do every day for the next year.

As I went about my daily activities I realized how much they jingle. I stopped by Commando Supply while I was out and bought silencers. They had two sets, so I got the other set for TB. They only cost $2.50, so it's not a big loss if he already has some. While I was in Commando Supply I took a picture of  Mini-B. I think TB will like that. We went in there last summer. He was wearing his Class A's and we were on our way to see my dad and then to dinner and a movie. TB couldn't find his belt buckle so we stopped in Commando Supply to get one. After a nice visit with my dad we went to Red Lobster. I think we went to Red Lobster three times while TB was here. He loves their biscuits and crab cakes. The fondue appetizer was excellent, too. Afterwards we saw Public Enemies. It was pretty good. I remember asking TB if fire really shoots out of the front of guns the way it did in the movie. Going to the movies with TB is fun because afterwards he likes to talk about it in depth.

So here we are a year later. TB is off to Afghanistan and I've got my "game face on" as he likes to say.

Phone Call

Exactly a year ago today TB arrived here for his two week visit. We have so many good memories from that time. That was when I realized just how intelligent and introspective he is. I learned a great deal about his life, which has been unbelievably different from mine, his thoughts on politics, the economy, religion, marriage, being a soldier. Generally, he tends to be a quiet man, but during those two weeks he really opened up.

Yesterday I received the "good bye" call. It isn't quite time, but yesterday was the best day for it. We talked for two hours about so many things and must have been on Yahoo Messenger for at least that long. TB shared some thoughts about his future, what he will do when he returns. I asked if he had any special instructions for me. He said he didn’t because when he was in Iraq it seemed like he would be thinking about something he would like to have and a package would arrive from me with just what he wanted. I'd forgotten about that, but obviously he hasn't. He also said he was going to send phone numbers of people for me to call if anything happens to him. We talked about that some. I reprimanded him for saying “if" he comes back. He said he was being realistic not fatalistic; there is only so much he can do. It's like when he was in Iraq and they were hit. He had been sleeping in the back of the vehicle and got up to take a picture. That's when it happened and if he hadn't moved, he would have been dead. As it was, he was injured. They lost a good man that day, TB's best friend. It's hard when your Alive Day is the day you lost your best friend. But, I see his point. A lot of it is fate and you can only do so much. All I can do is support him and pray.

The Flag

I told TB that I would fly his reenlistment flag every day while he's gone. I put it out yesterday so I could take a picture for him. When he leaves it will become my permanent flag. I'll add a new yellow ribbon to the base of the pole for him, too. His dogtags are ready for me to put on. I'll wear them until he comes home.

The Box

A week or so ago TB said he was sending a box. There were some important papers that he wanted me to keep. He said the box was heavy and I would need help carrying it to the car. I thought that was odd. He remembered that last fall I mentioned seeing bags online that were made from old uniforms. I thought that would be such a cool thing to have. Frankly, I had forgotten all about it. The box had some old uniforms for me. When the box arrived no one was home so our postal carrier left a note saying it could be picked up the next day at the post office. I told TB and he reminded me again that the box was heavy. I thought it was so sweet that he was concerned about that. He was right; the box was big...and heavy! Inside were 6 old BDU shirts and pants, a hat, the documents, photographs, a baseball signed by his squad when they were in Iraq, two military bags, and his reenlistment flag. He wants me to keep the documents safe, of course, but everything else is for me. One bag will be great for traveling. I'm especially touched about the flag.

When I originally saw the uniform bags online, I mentioned them to a friend at school. She is an excellent seamstress and offered to make one for me if TB ever sent a uniform. When I told her about the box, she immediately offered to try her hand at making a bag. I'm excited about that. We even discussed using one of the pants legs to make a bag to hold Mini-B.

Busy Week

School ended last week, but this week was still busy. There is always a lot that teachers need to do after the school year is over. This year we had two longtime, beloved teachers retire. It's not really good-bye as I know I will be seeing them, but it's still difficult. Wednesday evening we had a wonderful Aloha party at a staff member's home. Everyone brought a dish to share and the food and camaraderie were memorable. Last night two other friends and I went out to eat with my Bestie (as the kids say). It was a lot of fun and something I hope we will do often. She's been my rock when I thought my world was going to fall apart and it will be hard not to have her a few steps away. But I know she is just a phone call away and a short drive from school.

TB was very busy with last minute details, packing, and getting his mind set on what lies ahead. He's a little concerned that I am going to fall apart when he makes that last phone call. He's stuck to chatting online and text messages the past few days. To his credit, though, he has made a point of keeping me informed as much as he can. I'll be all right when he calls. I know how important it is to him.

On another note, today I received a phone call from the first soldier I adopted through Soldiers' Angels in 2006. It was quite a surprise! He thought I might not recognize his voice. That's pretty funny considering how often we've talked. I even met him and his family a few years ago when he was at Ft. Jackson for a class. I guess he just knew I wouldn't be expecting a call from him in Afghanistan. Since TB's Brigade is their replacement, he will be home soon, so I can expect another call from Maine. He's going to keep an eye out for TB. It would be wonderful if they could meet - my two special soldiers who call me Mom.

Mini-B

About a month ago TB ordered a Daddy Doll for his little girl. He was pretty excited about it and I could tell he was hoping I would get one, too. It seemed like a fun thing to do, so I ordered a double-sided doll. One side has a photo of TB in ACU's, the same one he used for his daughter. The other side has a picture in civilian clothes that I really like. I'm going to have a lot of fun taking pictures and sending them to TB during his deployment. Luckily Mini-B arrived a few days before school let out for the summer. I took it to school and my class loved it. Now I have some fun pictures on the playground, in the classroom, and during our end-of-year Water Day activities.

https://www.hugahero.com/store/hugahero-dolls

Emotions

I wasn't expecting this - the emotions, the knot in the pit of my stomach, the lump in my throat, the tears that come too easily over nothing. No matter how well prepared you are, when it comes down to the wire, the emotions bubble to the top and spill out. I know I'll be fine once deployment begins. I'll have a mission, a purpose. I'll deal with these emotions and TB will never know.

Surprise Package

Block Leave is over and everyone is busy with last minute preps. TB was surprised to find a package from me when he went to the post office on Tuesday. When he was in Iraq I learned that he loves oatmeal raisin cookies and banana bread. About a week before Block Leave the topic came up and I decided then to make some as a surprise. I wasn't sure the timing would be right, but apparently it was. I'm thrilled about that. He was so surprised and happy! I feel as if I've been able to do something for him during this time of intense last minute preparations. In doing that, I may have been the one who benefitted the most.

Support

Yesterday I spent a little time reading the Facebook pages of a few groups I follow. One of them provides information related to TB's Brigade. I noticed a post by another mother about an email group she was starting for parents and friends of soldiers about to deploy. I emailed her right away. I'm excited to be a part of this group. I have wonderful support - friends here at home and friends I've met online - and I know I won't be lacking for support. I'm happy, though, to find other parents who will be experiencing the same emotions I expect to face. Hopefully, I will be able to add something to the group.