I Am a Blue Star Parent by Frederick J Seitz III

I am a Blue Star Parent...

by Frederick J Seitz III on February 26, 2011

On my way home from work the other day, I stopped in at our Stop and Shop in East Islip to pick up a few things for dinner. Milk, eggs the usual stuff. We run out of these things on a regular basis, having two of our older kids living home. As I waited for my turn to step up and pay for my groceries, I noticed a young woman, maybe thirty years old, standing next to me and looking squarely at the " Blue Star Service" pin I wear proudly over my left breast pocket.

I guess it got the better of her, because she finally asked me, "What does that pin stand for?" I am kind of amazed, that with the war in Iraq and Afghanistan going on, and reports on the news every night, that anyone would not know what this pin symbolizes. However, that's just me, and for whatever the reason, unless the war has effected people directly, with either a family member or friend being involved, it seems Americans do not even know there IS a war being fought.

"What this is" I explained, "Is a Blue Star Service Pin, and it stands for a family member, my oldest son, serving on active duty in the United States Military." "Oh" she says. "I see those around but never knew what that was. God Bless him and thank him for us." I told her I would, and I thanked her for thinking of my son as well. I left the store and on the short hop home, decided to write this "Note", because not to many people really do know what this pin, or banner, or flag really mean. So I decided to start spreading the word.

The Blue Star Banner is simply that. A simple blue star, on a white background bordered in red. It is displayed by a family, to honor a family member serving in the military. It is a symbol of a families sacrifice. You will see it displayed in the window of the home, on the back of cars or as a pin worn on clothing. There is one blue star displayed on the banner for each family member currently serving.

To me, being a Blue Star Parent is many things. It is the pride and the honor of having our son serve our country during a time of war. It is sacrifice. Not just the sacrifice of our son and the thousands of other brave men and women serving in uniform, but of the sacrifice of their families as well. Holidays, birthdays and other special family occasions missed. An empty chair in the corner that SHOULD have our son sitting in it. It is a yellow ribbon on the lamp post in front of our home. The American flag posted displayed openly and proudly to honor ALL our military, past, present and future. It is family pictures with my wife holding a picture of our son to make the family "Complete" at Christmas. It's not being able to watch the news one second, and then not being able to tear yourself away the next, because of what is happening overseas. It's holding my wife as I try to be "The strong one", while the whole time I want just fall apart myself. And it is also a curse. On one hand I have the pride of my son's service, and on the other hand is the fear. A nameless and faceless fear that can not be readily identified specifically, but it is fear none the less and it is powerful, stressful and numbing.

"How do you deal with that?" That's a question I hear over and over. The answer is simple, and I think any Blue Star parent will pretty much say the same thing. You just do it. We do it for our son Rick, proudly serving in the United States Air Force. We do it for ourselves to mutually support each other, so we can support our son. We do it for our beloved country. To help us cope, we volunteer and help other military families deal with the same stresses we deal with. We are members of the Blue Star Mothers of America, Soldiers' Angels and the Patriot Guard. All three are service organizations devoted to the support of our military and their families. This is how we deal with it, how we ALL deal with it as Blue Star Parents and families.

Another thing I have to remember is, no matter how tough it is being a Blue Star Parent, there are parents who display a star of different color, a Star of Gold. When you see this star, you need to know, that that family has lost their loved one serving. They, like their beloved son or daughter, HAVE made the ultimate sacrifice in the defense of our country, and their family member who is serving will not EVER be coming home. As tough, or as stressful as I think being a Blue Star Parent can be, I can not even begin to imagine what our Gold Star brothers and sisters go through every day.

If I could, I would ask each of you one simple favor. Keep our Soldiers, our Sailors, our Marines, our Airmen and our Coastguard in your thoughts and prayers. It is because of them and the sacrifices they make daily, that you are free to enjoy the freedoms you have as Americans. The American soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him....

HooAH!