Now that TB is back with his men I can talk about his trip home for Emergency Leave. It goes without saying that the trip was an emotional one. It may have appeared to the casual observer that TB was thoroughly enjoying himself. He is from the Virgin Islands, St Croix, specifically. When he was in high school, TB’s mother decided to move to North Carolina. He had not been back to St Croix since that time, although his mother and a few siblings moved back several years ago.
It was good for TB to reconnect with childhood friends and family members he hadn’t seen in years, mostly cousins. On the other hand going home forced him to face demons he had buried long ago. For a man who has been through a grueling experience in Iraq and now in Afghanistan, this was a difficult process. To see how he has risen above the difficulties of his childhood to become the man he is now makes me very proud to know him.
I’ve written before about the connection TB has with the children in Afghanistan. I noticed it when he was in Iraq, also. Although he has painful memories that run very deep, he also has good memories that have helped shape him. In September of 1989 category 5 hurricane Hugo destroyed the tiny island of St. Croix. President George H.W. Bush sent troops to St. Croix in Operation Hawkeye to give humanitarian aid, provide security, and rebuild infrastructure. TB was eight years old and that was his first glimpse of American Soldiers. Two decades ago TB and his brothers and sisters were the kids in the pictures we now see of soldiers reaching out to children. They went without running water or electricity for an entire year. He recalls eating MRE's for a year and loving them. The soldiers would stop by and play with them before it got dark and curfew was mandated. That was 20+ years ago but every day when he puts on his uniform, he has a daily reminder of the kindness of those soldiers. TB feels strongly that the children in Iraq and Afghanistan also won’t forget and will "Pay it Forward" someday.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Almost Home
I can’t say enough about the way the Red Cross responded to TB’s family emergency. The people who worked with me to get the message to TB and his command were compassionate, thorough, and dedicated. TB is not one to sit on his hands and do nothing. He notified his command prior to receipt of the message and he was sent on to a larger FOB to wait. I have no doubt that this move saved at least a day, and perhaps two, of wait time.
TB reached the States today. He called me during a long layover, halfway to his destination. He sounded extremely tired. I’m so happy that a mutual friend was able to meet him at the airport. Another brother (who cannot attend the funeral) and his family were also able to see him. This meant so much to TB. I was told he is at the point of exhaustion and although he claimed he was not hungry, when pressed to eat, devoured two sandwiches. Thank goodness for our good friend who was there to look out for him. I’m so grateful for that kindness.
As he faces this emotional experience, I pray that spending time with his family and friends will bring TB comfort. I pray for closure and peace of mind. His family will draw strength from him and I know he will be strengthened by their love.
TB reached the States today. He called me during a long layover, halfway to his destination. He sounded extremely tired. I’m so happy that a mutual friend was able to meet him at the airport. Another brother (who cannot attend the funeral) and his family were also able to see him. This meant so much to TB. I was told he is at the point of exhaustion and although he claimed he was not hungry, when pressed to eat, devoured two sandwiches. Thank goodness for our good friend who was there to look out for him. I’m so grateful for that kindness.
As he faces this emotional experience, I pray that spending time with his family and friends will bring TB comfort. I pray for closure and peace of mind. His family will draw strength from him and I know he will be strengthened by their love.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
A Soldier’s Heartache
I’ve mentioned before the difficulties at home that our Troops have to deal with when they are deployed. When I wrote that piece I never imagined that my own TB would face tragedy at home. Today he received a message that one of his brothers died. Complete details are not available, but that isn’t important here. The lack of details does make it that much harder for TB, though. He’s hurting so much, feels isolated, and helpless. My heart hurts for him. I’ve made several phone calls for him and we are trying to get the necessary information so that a Red Cross emergency message can be sent to his Command.
Of all the sons his mother thought she would bury, I expect TB was the one. He is in constant danger and has had a few close calls. My heart goes out to her. There is no greater tragedy than the loss of a child, no matter the circumstances.
What will TB do tomorrow? He will get up and do his job; go on a mission, keep his soldiers safe, and carry on. His heart will be heavy, but he will focus. His men know they can depend on him to lead the way. I've learned that pain, emotional and mental, does not interfere with TB's role as a leader or his mission to bring all of his men safely home to their famillies.
Of all the sons his mother thought she would bury, I expect TB was the one. He is in constant danger and has had a few close calls. My heart goes out to her. There is no greater tragedy than the loss of a child, no matter the circumstances.
What will TB do tomorrow? He will get up and do his job; go on a mission, keep his soldiers safe, and carry on. His heart will be heavy, but he will focus. His men know they can depend on him to lead the way. I've learned that pain, emotional and mental, does not interfere with TB's role as a leader or his mission to bring all of his men safely home to their famillies.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I Am a Blue Star Parent by Frederick J Seitz III
I am a Blue Star Parent...
by Frederick J Seitz III on February 26, 2011
On my way home from work the other day, I stopped in at our Stop and Shop in East Islip to pick up a few things for dinner. Milk, eggs the usual stuff. We run out of these things on a regular basis, having two of our older kids living home. As I waited for my turn to step up and pay for my groceries, I noticed a young woman, maybe thirty years old, standing next to me and looking squarely at the " Blue Star Service" pin I wear proudly over my left breast pocket.
I guess it got the better of her, because she finally asked me, "What does that pin stand for?" I am kind of amazed, that with the war in Iraq and Afghanistan going on, and reports on the news every night, that anyone would not know what this pin symbolizes. However, that's just me, and for whatever the reason, unless the war has effected people directly, with either a family member or friend being involved, it seems Americans do not even know there IS a war being fought.
"What this is" I explained, "Is a Blue Star Service Pin, and it stands for a family member, my oldest son, serving on active duty in the United States Military." "Oh" she says. "I see those around but never knew what that was. God Bless him and thank him for us." I told her I would, and I thanked her for thinking of my son as well. I left the store and on the short hop home, decided to write this "Note", because not to many people really do know what this pin, or banner, or flag really mean. So I decided to start spreading the word.
The Blue Star Banner is simply that. A simple blue star, on a white background bordered in red. It is displayed by a family, to honor a family member serving in the military. It is a symbol of a families sacrifice. You will see it displayed in the window of the home, on the back of cars or as a pin worn on clothing. There is one blue star displayed on the banner for each family member currently serving.
To me, being a Blue Star Parent is many things. It is the pride and the honor of having our son serve our country during a time of war. It is sacrifice. Not just the sacrifice of our son and the thousands of other brave men and women serving in uniform, but of the sacrifice of their families as well. Holidays, birthdays and other special family occasions missed. An empty chair in the corner that SHOULD have our son sitting in it. It is a yellow ribbon on the lamp post in front of our home. The American flag posted displayed openly and proudly to honor ALL our military, past, present and future. It is family pictures with my wife holding a picture of our son to make the family "Complete" at Christmas. It's not being able to watch the news one second, and then not being able to tear yourself away the next, because of what is happening overseas. It's holding my wife as I try to be "The strong one", while the whole time I want just fall apart myself. And it is also a curse. On one hand I have the pride of my son's service, and on the other hand is the fear. A nameless and faceless fear that can not be readily identified specifically, but it is fear none the less and it is powerful, stressful and numbing.
"How do you deal with that?" That's a question I hear over and over. The answer is simple, and I think any Blue Star parent will pretty much say the same thing. You just do it. We do it for our son Rick, proudly serving in the United States Air Force. We do it for ourselves to mutually support each other, so we can support our son. We do it for our beloved country. To help us cope, we volunteer and help other military families deal with the same stresses we deal with. We are members of the Blue Star Mothers of America, Soldiers' Angels and the Patriot Guard. All three are service organizations devoted to the support of our military and their families. This is how we deal with it, how we ALL deal with it as Blue Star Parents and families.
Another thing I have to remember is, no matter how tough it is being a Blue Star Parent, there are parents who display a star of different color, a Star of Gold. When you see this star, you need to know, that that family has lost their loved one serving. They, like their beloved son or daughter, HAVE made the ultimate sacrifice in the defense of our country, and their family member who is serving will not EVER be coming home. As tough, or as stressful as I think being a Blue Star Parent can be, I can not even begin to imagine what our Gold Star brothers and sisters go through every day.
If I could, I would ask each of you one simple favor. Keep our Soldiers, our Sailors, our Marines, our Airmen and our Coastguard in your thoughts and prayers. It is because of them and the sacrifices they make daily, that you are free to enjoy the freedoms you have as Americans. The American soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him....
HooAH!
by Frederick J Seitz III on February 26, 2011
On my way home from work the other day, I stopped in at our Stop and Shop in East Islip to pick up a few things for dinner. Milk, eggs the usual stuff. We run out of these things on a regular basis, having two of our older kids living home. As I waited for my turn to step up and pay for my groceries, I noticed a young woman, maybe thirty years old, standing next to me and looking squarely at the " Blue Star Service" pin I wear proudly over my left breast pocket.
I guess it got the better of her, because she finally asked me, "What does that pin stand for?" I am kind of amazed, that with the war in Iraq and Afghanistan going on, and reports on the news every night, that anyone would not know what this pin symbolizes. However, that's just me, and for whatever the reason, unless the war has effected people directly, with either a family member or friend being involved, it seems Americans do not even know there IS a war being fought.
"What this is" I explained, "Is a Blue Star Service Pin, and it stands for a family member, my oldest son, serving on active duty in the United States Military." "Oh" she says. "I see those around but never knew what that was. God Bless him and thank him for us." I told her I would, and I thanked her for thinking of my son as well. I left the store and on the short hop home, decided to write this "Note", because not to many people really do know what this pin, or banner, or flag really mean. So I decided to start spreading the word.
The Blue Star Banner is simply that. A simple blue star, on a white background bordered in red. It is displayed by a family, to honor a family member serving in the military. It is a symbol of a families sacrifice. You will see it displayed in the window of the home, on the back of cars or as a pin worn on clothing. There is one blue star displayed on the banner for each family member currently serving.
To me, being a Blue Star Parent is many things. It is the pride and the honor of having our son serve our country during a time of war. It is sacrifice. Not just the sacrifice of our son and the thousands of other brave men and women serving in uniform, but of the sacrifice of their families as well. Holidays, birthdays and other special family occasions missed. An empty chair in the corner that SHOULD have our son sitting in it. It is a yellow ribbon on the lamp post in front of our home. The American flag posted displayed openly and proudly to honor ALL our military, past, present and future. It is family pictures with my wife holding a picture of our son to make the family "Complete" at Christmas. It's not being able to watch the news one second, and then not being able to tear yourself away the next, because of what is happening overseas. It's holding my wife as I try to be "The strong one", while the whole time I want just fall apart myself. And it is also a curse. On one hand I have the pride of my son's service, and on the other hand is the fear. A nameless and faceless fear that can not be readily identified specifically, but it is fear none the less and it is powerful, stressful and numbing.
"How do you deal with that?" That's a question I hear over and over. The answer is simple, and I think any Blue Star parent will pretty much say the same thing. You just do it. We do it for our son Rick, proudly serving in the United States Air Force. We do it for ourselves to mutually support each other, so we can support our son. We do it for our beloved country. To help us cope, we volunteer and help other military families deal with the same stresses we deal with. We are members of the Blue Star Mothers of America, Soldiers' Angels and the Patriot Guard. All three are service organizations devoted to the support of our military and their families. This is how we deal with it, how we ALL deal with it as Blue Star Parents and families.
Another thing I have to remember is, no matter how tough it is being a Blue Star Parent, there are parents who display a star of different color, a Star of Gold. When you see this star, you need to know, that that family has lost their loved one serving. They, like their beloved son or daughter, HAVE made the ultimate sacrifice in the defense of our country, and their family member who is serving will not EVER be coming home. As tough, or as stressful as I think being a Blue Star Parent can be, I can not even begin to imagine what our Gold Star brothers and sisters go through every day.
If I could, I would ask each of you one simple favor. Keep our Soldiers, our Sailors, our Marines, our Airmen and our Coastguard in your thoughts and prayers. It is because of them and the sacrifices they make daily, that you are free to enjoy the freedoms you have as Americans. The American soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him....
HooAH!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Video Fun
Anyone who follows deployed Troops soon realizes they come up with all sorts of humorous ways to entertain each other. YouTube has plenty of videos with pranks, songs, and dances. TB and a few buddies have been filming short newscast videos. They call it I.E.D. News - International Entertainment Daily. TB ordered wigs, a moustache, and some fake microphones to add to the effect. He has been excited about posting the videos to his Facebook page. Due to the slow Internet, it takes a long time to upload each one, so he has only added a few.
I don’t understand “friends” who send him emails with comments such as “Don’t you have anything better to do?”, “How come you guys aren’t working?”, “I guess you don’t have it so bad over there if you have time to play around.” Seriously??? These guys have no days off. They miss holidays and birthdays. I won’t go into the hardships they’ve endured since I’ve addressed them here many times. They can’t have a few minutes of fun to keep morale up? The videos are less than two minutes each. If they spend 10 or 15 minutes a day goofing off they’re branded as slackers. This is one of those “shaking my head” moments.
I don’t understand “friends” who send him emails with comments such as “Don’t you have anything better to do?”, “How come you guys aren’t working?”, “I guess you don’t have it so bad over there if you have time to play around.” Seriously??? These guys have no days off. They miss holidays and birthdays. I won’t go into the hardships they’ve endured since I’ve addressed them here many times. They can’t have a few minutes of fun to keep morale up? The videos are less than two minutes each. If they spend 10 or 15 minutes a day goofing off they’re branded as slackers. This is one of those “shaking my head” moments.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Food
TB’s unit is based with soldiers from a European country. I won’t say what country it is, but it’s important to know that it isn’t one most people would think of. Most Americans probably wouldn’t even be able to list it as a country in Europe. I’ve heard complaints from our soldiers about these guys from the beginning of the deployment….the way they hog everything…the computers, the showers, the food. TB never mentioned it, so I asked him about it one day. He said, “Yea, it’s pretty bad.”
I noticed similar postings on Facebook pages from half a dozen guys mentioning how hungry they were because these other soldiers were taking all the food. Rather than just eat their meal and leave, apparently they stuff food in their pockets, pretty much clearing out everything. So, when our guys get back from missions, there’s no food left. Wow! That is very upsetting! Our soldiers have dealt with the extreme heat of summer, no heat in winter, living out of vehicles, and receiving mail every 4 to 6 weeks. They shouldn’t have to go hungry because soldiers who are supposed to be fighting side-by-side with them are hoarding food!
I noticed similar postings on Facebook pages from half a dozen guys mentioning how hungry they were because these other soldiers were taking all the food. Rather than just eat their meal and leave, apparently they stuff food in their pockets, pretty much clearing out everything. So, when our guys get back from missions, there’s no food left. Wow! That is very upsetting! Our soldiers have dealt with the extreme heat of summer, no heat in winter, living out of vehicles, and receiving mail every 4 to 6 weeks. They shouldn’t have to go hungry because soldiers who are supposed to be fighting side-by-side with them are hoarding food!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Weather Again
Last Monday I tripped and fell just as I was leaving for work. I landed hard on my right knee. It still hurts like the dickens. I must have tried to brace myself with my left arm as I fell because that shoulder is very painful. I mentioned it to a few people, but didn’t say anything to TB. No need to concern him. Besides, he was leaving the next day for an extended mission. As it turned out the mission was postponed due to bad weather. Someone must have snitched, because I received a 3 AM call from the remote mountain outpost this morning. The first thing TB wanted to know was if I was okay. He also wanted to let me know he was at the outpost since he hadn’t been able to update me before leaving. Due to the weather, they couldn’t take the vehicles which means they couldn’t take as many supplies. Again, because of the weather, this may be their longest mission yet, so I hope he has enough. The snow is knee-deep and TB said getting their clothes and feet dried out was going to be a real problem.
It’s times like this that I get a knot in my stomach. Is he warm? Is he dry? Does he have enough food? There’s nothing I can do about any of it. I’m frustrated by that! All I can do is pray and trust him. He’s tough and strong and smart, so I know he will get through it. I just wish he didn’t have to.
It’s times like this that I get a knot in my stomach. Is he warm? Is he dry? Does he have enough food? There’s nothing I can do about any of it. I’m frustrated by that! All I can do is pray and trust him. He’s tough and strong and smart, so I know he will get through it. I just wish he didn’t have to.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Weather
Snow, snow, and more snow. Not here, but in Afghanistan, at least in TB’s area….snow, ice, rain, mud, cold. The weather can be a real issue for our Troops. Of course, we’ve all heard about the extreme heat, especially in Iraq, and many of us have seen photos of huge sandstorms. The weather interferes with mail and resupply. They get stuck out on missions at mountain outposts for days beyond what was planned. (Readers will recall that the outpost is where TB’s squad sleeps on the ground.) Soldiers returning from leave find that it takes weeks to get back to their units. All due to weather conditions.
On a lighter note, one of TB’s buddies told me his squad was in a village they frequently patrol. They were throwing snowballs and “the lil league of 8 yr olds came out to play. There were more snowballs in the air than I have ever seen before in my life. These kids were good! They were not only accurate, but they throw hard! These snowballs hurt! I think they were packing ice in them! And the 4 kids we started this snowball fight with, thinking we could win, multiplied! We had a whole neighborhood out pelting us with snowballs! I put my hands up, screamed ‘break contact’, and ran. The ANA soldiers covered our movement back to a little bit of cover but it didn’t help. These kids didn’t stop. They were out for blood! So the next day my squad figured we’d go in teams and flank them, but the kids were smarter than we were and stayed inside.”
On a lighter note, one of TB’s buddies told me his squad was in a village they frequently patrol. They were throwing snowballs and “the lil league of 8 yr olds came out to play. There were more snowballs in the air than I have ever seen before in my life. These kids were good! They were not only accurate, but they throw hard! These snowballs hurt! I think they were packing ice in them! And the 4 kids we started this snowball fight with, thinking we could win, multiplied! We had a whole neighborhood out pelting us with snowballs! I put my hands up, screamed ‘break contact’, and ran. The ANA soldiers covered our movement back to a little bit of cover but it didn’t help. These kids didn’t stop. They were out for blood! So the next day my squad figured we’d go in teams and flank them, but the kids were smarter than we were and stayed inside.”
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Valentine's Day
Since TB sent flowers, balloons, and two adorable teddy bears last month, I was caught completely by surprise yesterday when I came home to find two dozen roses, candy, and a lovely white teddy bear from him. I'm touched by more than the gifts. TB often mentions how slow the Internet is there, so I know he probably had to use one of his times online just to place the order. As well as I know him, I still shake my head at the mix of tough, war-hardened infantryman and sensitive, thoughtful man.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Children
I look forward to TB’s photos after a mission. They travel to remote villages and TB always attracts the kids. He’s like Santa, opening his pack, to give them little toys, candy, pens, and so on. He has learned to have the interpreters get the children to line up, otherwise they overrun him. Something that strikes me in the photos is the way TB gets down on the same level as the children. He is either sitting or on a knee. I’ve noticed too, that he makes certain the little girls are provided for, even though they are very shy and not as likely to hold out their hands as the boys.
TB gets a great deal of joy from interacting with the children. He always tries to teach them something, whether it’s soccer, jump rope, or juggling small balls. If he gives them pen and paper, he teaches them how to write his name. If they get coloring books and crayons, he shows them how to color. A child how receives candy also receives a toothbrush and toothpaste and is taught how to use them. TB never leaves a village without showing the villagers the heart of an American soldier.
TB gets a great deal of joy from interacting with the children. He always tries to teach them something, whether it’s soccer, jump rope, or juggling small balls. If he gives them pen and paper, he teaches them how to write his name. If they get coloring books and crayons, he shows them how to color. A child how receives candy also receives a toothbrush and toothpaste and is taught how to use them. TB never leaves a village without showing the villagers the heart of an American soldier.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Warm(er) at Last
I received the typical 3:00 AM call last week. I had to laugh. The first thing TB wanted to know was why I hadn’t posted anything on his latest FB photos that show him with the scarf I made for him. He accused me of not noticing. It’s funny because I did notice right away. I thought it was odd because before leaving for that mission he told me about the latest mail and didn’t mention the scarf and more importantly the sleeping bag that was in the same box. Come to find out they received another mail drop just as they were leaving for their mission. He told his guys to check for any boxes that were for him. One of them just happened to be the sleeping bag. TB said it was great because his army issue bag, (the one that’s missing) is not quite long enough and the one I sent is extra-long. It was a longer than usual mission and the weather was especially bad with snow and wind, but he was toasty warm in his sub-zero bag! I just love the way things work out!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Gifts of Love and Support
“You don't find love, it finds you. It's got a little bit to do with destiny, fate, and what's written in the stars." Anaïs Nin
TB strongly believes we did not meet by chance. He mentions it often and seems to take comfort in the thought. The quote came to mind because of a wonderful gesture by TB. On Monday, I received two special deliveries, flowers and balloons. The day of their arrival, I learned that my 92-year-old father-in-law probably would not survive the week. He didn’t; passing away a few days later. TB knows nothing about that, but the timing was not lost on me. There’s a story behind the gifts, beyond TB’s desire to express his gratitude. I’m not ready to tell that story here, but my war-hardened tough guy is a compassionate, sensitive man who is looking out for me.
TB strongly believes we did not meet by chance. He mentions it often and seems to take comfort in the thought. The quote came to mind because of a wonderful gesture by TB. On Monday, I received two special deliveries, flowers and balloons. The day of their arrival, I learned that my 92-year-old father-in-law probably would not survive the week. He didn’t; passing away a few days later. TB knows nothing about that, but the timing was not lost on me. There’s a story behind the gifts, beyond TB’s desire to express his gratitude. I’m not ready to tell that story here, but my war-hardened tough guy is a compassionate, sensitive man who is looking out for me.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Brrrr!
Many parts of our country are having a rough winter. For the most part, it doesn’t seem to be as bad as last winter, at least not for our part of the country, but last week Florida was the only contiguous state without snow. I don’t particularly like the cold, although I don’t hate it. I find myself being irritated with people who complain. People whose maximum amount of time spent outside amounts to the time it takes to walk from a warm building to a warm car. Granted some people have to shovel snow, I’m one of them, and it does get tiresome. I have little patience for all the complaining because I know where TB is and what the weather is like there. He does not have an inside job. He sleeps in an unheated building or on the ground. The wind can be strong and biting. It snowed there last week. As the photo shows, it wasn’t much, but if it’s cold enough to snow, it’s cold!
Another package arrived for TB with food that can be used when he goes on missions. Unfortunately, the box with the below 0 sleeping bag did not arrive, even though I sent it a week prior to the one he received. He needed the food, no doubt about that, but the sleeping bag would be so helpful when he’s out on missions and has to sleep on the ground. I haven’t told him the bag is on the way. For one thing, I want him to be surprised. Also, I think it would be a little disheartening to know it’s out there somewhere when you are facing a cold night without a sleeping bag.
He never complains, though. I admire that so much.
Another package arrived for TB with food that can be used when he goes on missions. Unfortunately, the box with the below 0 sleeping bag did not arrive, even though I sent it a week prior to the one he received. He needed the food, no doubt about that, but the sleeping bag would be so helpful when he’s out on missions and has to sleep on the ground. I haven’t told him the bag is on the way. For one thing, I want him to be surprised. Also, I think it would be a little disheartening to know it’s out there somewhere when you are facing a cold night without a sleeping bag.
He never complains, though. I admire that so much.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Technology
We are so fortunate to live in a time when technology makes it possible to communicate with people all over the world. I remember my father telling me about his trip to the 1939 World’s Fair in New York City. My grandfather was the Headmaster of a Boys School on an island in Boston Harbor. Dad recalled visiting the telephone exhibit where they made a long distance phone call to his mother. He said it was so amazing to be able to talk from New York to Boston.
Sometimes I think about the families of past wars. How difficult it must have been to go months, even years, without hearing from your soldier. Since TB never complains, I have to be a detective if I want to know how he’s doing, other than “tired, it was a long day”. I’m fortunate that I can see what TB’s soldiers are saying. I can “read” their moods and tell how it might be for him. That information gives me something to follow-up on when I talk to him. It’s amazing what you can find out if you know what to ask. I’ve learned to ask TB specific questions. At times the questions go unanswered. Today I asked him about something and he said he couldn’t tell me. I really hate when that happens. I always feel like I should know, but like I told him, until I ask I don’t know that some things are off limits. Although we are lucky to have so many ways to stay connected to our soldiers, we also have to be mindful of what we say. Technology is a double-edged sword.
Sometimes I think about the families of past wars. How difficult it must have been to go months, even years, without hearing from your soldier. Since TB never complains, I have to be a detective if I want to know how he’s doing, other than “tired, it was a long day”. I’m fortunate that I can see what TB’s soldiers are saying. I can “read” their moods and tell how it might be for him. That information gives me something to follow-up on when I talk to him. It’s amazing what you can find out if you know what to ask. I’ve learned to ask TB specific questions. At times the questions go unanswered. Today I asked him about something and he said he couldn’t tell me. I really hate when that happens. I always feel like I should know, but like I told him, until I ask I don’t know that some things are off limits. Although we are lucky to have so many ways to stay connected to our soldiers, we also have to be mindful of what we say. Technology is a double-edged sword.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Keeping Him Guessing
I learned from TB that when they go on missions, they sleep on the ground. Unfortunately, he has no sleeping bag to keep him warm because he still has not received his personal belongings that were packed for him while he was on leave. Thankfully, two of the boxes he received were the ones with his Army issue winter jacket and pants that I sent in October. He uses them and I know they are warm, but a sleeping bag would be that much better. He doesn’t know I sent a below 0˚ sleeping bag a few weeks ago. I hope it arrives soon. I love surprising him and I know it will make him very happy. I added a wool scarf that I crocheted to the box. It will be a nice, warm, welcome surprise.
Part of getting through a deployment from this side is providing support. When TB hints at something he would like to have, it’s a huge relief. It gives me something to focus on and makes me feel useful. Sometimes I ask TB what he needs and his response is, “You do so much already.” So, last week when he told me “box #43 was the best ever!” I was thrilled. Two boxes similar to #43 are now on the way to Afghanistan. Of course, the day after I mailed them, he said, “I sure would love more of that chai latte." Oh my! I think it was the only thing in box #43 that I didn’t send. Kind of funny, though. I felt like telling him he planned it that way, just so I would send more packages, but I know that would make him feel guilty. I’ll send another box on Monday with the special chai that he loves. As long as it takes mail to reach him, all the boxes will probably arrive at the same time anyway.
I used to tell TB when I sent a box and what was in it. I've stopped doing that because he loves the surprise of getting something he had no clue was coming. He knows I'm going to send things, but I realized a month or so ago that telling him everything ahead of time takes away some of the excitement of the infrequent mail deliveries.
Part of getting through a deployment from this side is providing support. When TB hints at something he would like to have, it’s a huge relief. It gives me something to focus on and makes me feel useful. Sometimes I ask TB what he needs and his response is, “You do so much already.” So, last week when he told me “box #43 was the best ever!” I was thrilled. Two boxes similar to #43 are now on the way to Afghanistan. Of course, the day after I mailed them, he said, “I sure would love more of that chai latte." Oh my! I think it was the only thing in box #43 that I didn’t send. Kind of funny, though. I felt like telling him he planned it that way, just so I would send more packages, but I know that would make him feel guilty. I’ll send another box on Monday with the special chai that he loves. As long as it takes mail to reach him, all the boxes will probably arrive at the same time anyway.
I used to tell TB when I sent a box and what was in it. I've stopped doing that because he loves the surprise of getting something he had no clue was coming. He knows I'm going to send things, but I realized a month or so ago that telling him everything ahead of time takes away some of the excitement of the infrequent mail deliveries.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Missing Mail
I received one of those 3 AM phone calls from TB a few days ago. The timing never matters to me. I was happy to hear that some of the missing mail I sent in October finally reached him.
TB loves banana bread. I sent some to him before he deployed. The package took several weeks to arrive and TB said the bread didn’t survive very well. In September he mentioned how much he would love to have some banana bread. It occurred to me that banana cookies might work, so I searched online for a recipe. I found one that fit his dietary restrictions.
Some of the boxes TB received were the ones I sent on October 4th. The cookies were such a surprise to him! I kept telling him that he shouldn’t eat them but he insisted they were good and that he would be my guinea pig any day. Maybe he is right and the cold weather there helped preserve them. I always keep a few cookies when I send a batch. That way I can taste test them myself when I hear they arrive. The banana nut cookies I kept really weren’t so bad. A little stale, I thought, but after three months, I was surprised at how good they really were.
I love surprising TB. Another mission accomplished!
TB loves banana bread. I sent some to him before he deployed. The package took several weeks to arrive and TB said the bread didn’t survive very well. In September he mentioned how much he would love to have some banana bread. It occurred to me that banana cookies might work, so I searched online for a recipe. I found one that fit his dietary restrictions.
Some of the boxes TB received were the ones I sent on October 4th. The cookies were such a surprise to him! I kept telling him that he shouldn’t eat them but he insisted they were good and that he would be my guinea pig any day. Maybe he is right and the cold weather there helped preserve them. I always keep a few cookies when I send a batch. That way I can taste test them myself when I hear they arrive. The banana nut cookies I kept really weren’t so bad. A little stale, I thought, but after three months, I was surprised at how good they really were.
I love surprising TB. Another mission accomplished!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Hard Times and Brotherhood
Most deployed Troops are faced with difficult circumstances just by nature of the fact they are deployed. They are away from their loved ones for months at a time, in dangerous, primitive conditions, mortars, IEDs, firefights. Meanwhile, life goes on back home: girlfriends leave, spouses cheat, mothers, fathers, grandparents, even siblings pass away, babies are born, children get sick, have accidents, graduate, learn to walk and talk. Loved ones are making memories while their Troops are half a world away. If they are lucky special events might be viewed on webcam. What gets them through? Their comrades. It goes without saying that they rely on each other to watch their backs during a firefight, to come to their aide during an IED explosion, and to bolster them when a buddy is lost or wounded. Their Battle Buddies become their family, the ones who are there when their family is not. The bond is strong. The casual observer might wonder about the things soldiers say to each other; the humor, the personal jabs, the seemingly inappropriate comments about death or injury. Laughing at each other and at their circumstances helps keep them sane when the world around them seems completely insane. And when things go wrong at home, their Battle Buddies are right there. The compassion and support Troops have for their comrades is like no other. I’ve witnessed this empathy several times among TB and his buddies. It’s touching to observe these tough, war hardened, sometimes coarse young men pull a friend up when he’s hit with bad news from home. They are what’s good about America.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Year's Call
I slept better last night than I have in a week. I had just gotten in bed when TB called. He said he hoped he didn’t wake me, but it was the best time to call. When I told him it was not quite midnight, still New Year's Day for me, he fussed, wanting to know why I was still up. It’s always wonderful to hear his voice and his laugh. He didn’t share much about his mission but he made sure I knew to expect long absences in the future. Just that little bit helps me have the right mindset when he’s silent for long periods of time. From the few things he mentioned, I know it was a tough mission. When he got back the power was out so there were no lights, no heat (as usual), and after being gone for nearly a week he couldn’t take a shower. It was more than a little depressing, but he got to his bed and found loads of mail! He was so happy to get the boxes with food and other things he and his men needed, but he said after everything he’d been through and the way he was feeling, the best mail was the cards and letters from me that said exactly what he needed to hear.
We never know how something we say or do will touch someone. TB was home on leave when I wrote those letters. There was no reason for me to write extra words of encouragement and love at that time. He received them exactly when he needed them, though. TB marvels at that. I’m just happy the things I send and the words I write help him get through the difficult times.
We never know how something we say or do will touch someone. TB was home on leave when I wrote those letters. There was no reason for me to write extra words of encouragement and love at that time. He received them exactly when he needed them, though. TB marvels at that. I’m just happy the things I send and the words I write help him get through the difficult times.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010
As a Military Mom and a Troop Supporter, what did 2010 give me?
Tears – more tears than I’ve ever cried in a year’s time. Tears of joy at a phone call, a package received, an email after a long silence, Free Mail, pictures, learning that someone is home safely. Tears of sadness from stories of missing home and loved ones, the loss of a friend, hunger, fatigue, loneliness: and knowing I can’t fix any of it. Many tears when the reality of TB’s impending deployment hit me. I remember telling him I had to get it out and be done with it; once that happened, I would be fine.
Laughter - at silly jokes and pranks, at stories about what Troops do with things I send, at responses to things I say. TB has a way of telling about a relatively normal event that makes you laugh and shake your head. We never have a phone call that isn’t peppered with laughter. Chats are the same. One way or another we always make each other laugh.
2010 gave me friendship – some fleeting, some lasting – hope for the future, and strength I never thought I’d have.
I joined Soldiers’ Angels to offer support and to show that people back in the States care. I’ve been blessed by that decision more than I ever imagined possible. For every letter, email, and package I’ve sent, for every bit of time and energy I’ve expended, I have been repaid more than ten thousand fold.
As the new year begins I look forward to more of the same – tears, laughter, friendships – and the joy of TB redeploying.
Tears – more tears than I’ve ever cried in a year’s time. Tears of joy at a phone call, a package received, an email after a long silence, Free Mail, pictures, learning that someone is home safely. Tears of sadness from stories of missing home and loved ones, the loss of a friend, hunger, fatigue, loneliness: and knowing I can’t fix any of it. Many tears when the reality of TB’s impending deployment hit me. I remember telling him I had to get it out and be done with it; once that happened, I would be fine.
Laughter - at silly jokes and pranks, at stories about what Troops do with things I send, at responses to things I say. TB has a way of telling about a relatively normal event that makes you laugh and shake your head. We never have a phone call that isn’t peppered with laughter. Chats are the same. One way or another we always make each other laugh.
2010 gave me friendship – some fleeting, some lasting – hope for the future, and strength I never thought I’d have.
I joined Soldiers’ Angels to offer support and to show that people back in the States care. I’ve been blessed by that decision more than I ever imagined possible. For every letter, email, and package I’ve sent, for every bit of time and energy I’ve expended, I have been repaid more than ten thousand fold.
As the new year begins I look forward to more of the same – tears, laughter, friendships – and the joy of TB redeploying.
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