I received the typical 3:00 AM call last week. I had to laugh. The first thing TB wanted to know was why I hadn’t posted anything on his latest FB photos that show him with the scarf I made for him. He accused me of not noticing. It’s funny because I did notice right away. I thought it was odd because before leaving for that mission he told me about the latest mail and didn’t mention the scarf and more importantly the sleeping bag that was in the same box. Come to find out they received another mail drop just as they were leaving for their mission. He told his guys to check for any boxes that were for him. One of them just happened to be the sleeping bag. TB said it was great because his army issue bag, (the one that’s missing) is not quite long enough and the one I sent is extra-long. It was a longer than usual mission and the weather was especially bad with snow and wind, but he was toasty warm in his sub-zero bag! I just love the way things work out!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Gifts of Love and Support
“You don't find love, it finds you. It's got a little bit to do with destiny, fate, and what's written in the stars." Anaïs Nin
TB strongly believes we did not meet by chance. He mentions it often and seems to take comfort in the thought. The quote came to mind because of a wonderful gesture by TB. On Monday, I received two special deliveries, flowers and balloons. The day of their arrival, I learned that my 92-year-old father-in-law probably would not survive the week. He didn’t; passing away a few days later. TB knows nothing about that, but the timing was not lost on me. There’s a story behind the gifts, beyond TB’s desire to express his gratitude. I’m not ready to tell that story here, but my war-hardened tough guy is a compassionate, sensitive man who is looking out for me.
TB strongly believes we did not meet by chance. He mentions it often and seems to take comfort in the thought. The quote came to mind because of a wonderful gesture by TB. On Monday, I received two special deliveries, flowers and balloons. The day of their arrival, I learned that my 92-year-old father-in-law probably would not survive the week. He didn’t; passing away a few days later. TB knows nothing about that, but the timing was not lost on me. There’s a story behind the gifts, beyond TB’s desire to express his gratitude. I’m not ready to tell that story here, but my war-hardened tough guy is a compassionate, sensitive man who is looking out for me.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Brrrr!
Many parts of our country are having a rough winter. For the most part, it doesn’t seem to be as bad as last winter, at least not for our part of the country, but last week Florida was the only contiguous state without snow. I don’t particularly like the cold, although I don’t hate it. I find myself being irritated with people who complain. People whose maximum amount of time spent outside amounts to the time it takes to walk from a warm building to a warm car. Granted some people have to shovel snow, I’m one of them, and it does get tiresome. I have little patience for all the complaining because I know where TB is and what the weather is like there. He does not have an inside job. He sleeps in an unheated building or on the ground. The wind can be strong and biting. It snowed there last week. As the photo shows, it wasn’t much, but if it’s cold enough to snow, it’s cold!
Another package arrived for TB with food that can be used when he goes on missions. Unfortunately, the box with the below 0 sleeping bag did not arrive, even though I sent it a week prior to the one he received. He needed the food, no doubt about that, but the sleeping bag would be so helpful when he’s out on missions and has to sleep on the ground. I haven’t told him the bag is on the way. For one thing, I want him to be surprised. Also, I think it would be a little disheartening to know it’s out there somewhere when you are facing a cold night without a sleeping bag.
He never complains, though. I admire that so much.
Another package arrived for TB with food that can be used when he goes on missions. Unfortunately, the box with the below 0 sleeping bag did not arrive, even though I sent it a week prior to the one he received. He needed the food, no doubt about that, but the sleeping bag would be so helpful when he’s out on missions and has to sleep on the ground. I haven’t told him the bag is on the way. For one thing, I want him to be surprised. Also, I think it would be a little disheartening to know it’s out there somewhere when you are facing a cold night without a sleeping bag.
He never complains, though. I admire that so much.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Technology
We are so fortunate to live in a time when technology makes it possible to communicate with people all over the world. I remember my father telling me about his trip to the 1939 World’s Fair in New York City. My grandfather was the Headmaster of a Boys School on an island in Boston Harbor. Dad recalled visiting the telephone exhibit where they made a long distance phone call to his mother. He said it was so amazing to be able to talk from New York to Boston.
Sometimes I think about the families of past wars. How difficult it must have been to go months, even years, without hearing from your soldier. Since TB never complains, I have to be a detective if I want to know how he’s doing, other than “tired, it was a long day”. I’m fortunate that I can see what TB’s soldiers are saying. I can “read” their moods and tell how it might be for him. That information gives me something to follow-up on when I talk to him. It’s amazing what you can find out if you know what to ask. I’ve learned to ask TB specific questions. At times the questions go unanswered. Today I asked him about something and he said he couldn’t tell me. I really hate when that happens. I always feel like I should know, but like I told him, until I ask I don’t know that some things are off limits. Although we are lucky to have so many ways to stay connected to our soldiers, we also have to be mindful of what we say. Technology is a double-edged sword.
Sometimes I think about the families of past wars. How difficult it must have been to go months, even years, without hearing from your soldier. Since TB never complains, I have to be a detective if I want to know how he’s doing, other than “tired, it was a long day”. I’m fortunate that I can see what TB’s soldiers are saying. I can “read” their moods and tell how it might be for him. That information gives me something to follow-up on when I talk to him. It’s amazing what you can find out if you know what to ask. I’ve learned to ask TB specific questions. At times the questions go unanswered. Today I asked him about something and he said he couldn’t tell me. I really hate when that happens. I always feel like I should know, but like I told him, until I ask I don’t know that some things are off limits. Although we are lucky to have so many ways to stay connected to our soldiers, we also have to be mindful of what we say. Technology is a double-edged sword.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Keeping Him Guessing
I learned from TB that when they go on missions, they sleep on the ground. Unfortunately, he has no sleeping bag to keep him warm because he still has not received his personal belongings that were packed for him while he was on leave. Thankfully, two of the boxes he received were the ones with his Army issue winter jacket and pants that I sent in October. He uses them and I know they are warm, but a sleeping bag would be that much better. He doesn’t know I sent a below 0˚ sleeping bag a few weeks ago. I hope it arrives soon. I love surprising him and I know it will make him very happy. I added a wool scarf that I crocheted to the box. It will be a nice, warm, welcome surprise.
Part of getting through a deployment from this side is providing support. When TB hints at something he would like to have, it’s a huge relief. It gives me something to focus on and makes me feel useful. Sometimes I ask TB what he needs and his response is, “You do so much already.” So, last week when he told me “box #43 was the best ever!” I was thrilled. Two boxes similar to #43 are now on the way to Afghanistan. Of course, the day after I mailed them, he said, “I sure would love more of that chai latte." Oh my! I think it was the only thing in box #43 that I didn’t send. Kind of funny, though. I felt like telling him he planned it that way, just so I would send more packages, but I know that would make him feel guilty. I’ll send another box on Monday with the special chai that he loves. As long as it takes mail to reach him, all the boxes will probably arrive at the same time anyway.
I used to tell TB when I sent a box and what was in it. I've stopped doing that because he loves the surprise of getting something he had no clue was coming. He knows I'm going to send things, but I realized a month or so ago that telling him everything ahead of time takes away some of the excitement of the infrequent mail deliveries.
Part of getting through a deployment from this side is providing support. When TB hints at something he would like to have, it’s a huge relief. It gives me something to focus on and makes me feel useful. Sometimes I ask TB what he needs and his response is, “You do so much already.” So, last week when he told me “box #43 was the best ever!” I was thrilled. Two boxes similar to #43 are now on the way to Afghanistan. Of course, the day after I mailed them, he said, “I sure would love more of that chai latte." Oh my! I think it was the only thing in box #43 that I didn’t send. Kind of funny, though. I felt like telling him he planned it that way, just so I would send more packages, but I know that would make him feel guilty. I’ll send another box on Monday with the special chai that he loves. As long as it takes mail to reach him, all the boxes will probably arrive at the same time anyway.
I used to tell TB when I sent a box and what was in it. I've stopped doing that because he loves the surprise of getting something he had no clue was coming. He knows I'm going to send things, but I realized a month or so ago that telling him everything ahead of time takes away some of the excitement of the infrequent mail deliveries.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Missing Mail
I received one of those 3 AM phone calls from TB a few days ago. The timing never matters to me. I was happy to hear that some of the missing mail I sent in October finally reached him.
TB loves banana bread. I sent some to him before he deployed. The package took several weeks to arrive and TB said the bread didn’t survive very well. In September he mentioned how much he would love to have some banana bread. It occurred to me that banana cookies might work, so I searched online for a recipe. I found one that fit his dietary restrictions.
Some of the boxes TB received were the ones I sent on October 4th. The cookies were such a surprise to him! I kept telling him that he shouldn’t eat them but he insisted they were good and that he would be my guinea pig any day. Maybe he is right and the cold weather there helped preserve them. I always keep a few cookies when I send a batch. That way I can taste test them myself when I hear they arrive. The banana nut cookies I kept really weren’t so bad. A little stale, I thought, but after three months, I was surprised at how good they really were.
I love surprising TB. Another mission accomplished!
TB loves banana bread. I sent some to him before he deployed. The package took several weeks to arrive and TB said the bread didn’t survive very well. In September he mentioned how much he would love to have some banana bread. It occurred to me that banana cookies might work, so I searched online for a recipe. I found one that fit his dietary restrictions.
Some of the boxes TB received were the ones I sent on October 4th. The cookies were such a surprise to him! I kept telling him that he shouldn’t eat them but he insisted they were good and that he would be my guinea pig any day. Maybe he is right and the cold weather there helped preserve them. I always keep a few cookies when I send a batch. That way I can taste test them myself when I hear they arrive. The banana nut cookies I kept really weren’t so bad. A little stale, I thought, but after three months, I was surprised at how good they really were.
I love surprising TB. Another mission accomplished!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Hard Times and Brotherhood
Most deployed Troops are faced with difficult circumstances just by nature of the fact they are deployed. They are away from their loved ones for months at a time, in dangerous, primitive conditions, mortars, IEDs, firefights. Meanwhile, life goes on back home: girlfriends leave, spouses cheat, mothers, fathers, grandparents, even siblings pass away, babies are born, children get sick, have accidents, graduate, learn to walk and talk. Loved ones are making memories while their Troops are half a world away. If they are lucky special events might be viewed on webcam. What gets them through? Their comrades. It goes without saying that they rely on each other to watch their backs during a firefight, to come to their aide during an IED explosion, and to bolster them when a buddy is lost or wounded. Their Battle Buddies become their family, the ones who are there when their family is not. The bond is strong. The casual observer might wonder about the things soldiers say to each other; the humor, the personal jabs, the seemingly inappropriate comments about death or injury. Laughing at each other and at their circumstances helps keep them sane when the world around them seems completely insane. And when things go wrong at home, their Battle Buddies are right there. The compassion and support Troops have for their comrades is like no other. I’ve witnessed this empathy several times among TB and his buddies. It’s touching to observe these tough, war hardened, sometimes coarse young men pull a friend up when he’s hit with bad news from home. They are what’s good about America.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Year's Call
I slept better last night than I have in a week. I had just gotten in bed when TB called. He said he hoped he didn’t wake me, but it was the best time to call. When I told him it was not quite midnight, still New Year's Day for me, he fussed, wanting to know why I was still up. It’s always wonderful to hear his voice and his laugh. He didn’t share much about his mission but he made sure I knew to expect long absences in the future. Just that little bit helps me have the right mindset when he’s silent for long periods of time. From the few things he mentioned, I know it was a tough mission. When he got back the power was out so there were no lights, no heat (as usual), and after being gone for nearly a week he couldn’t take a shower. It was more than a little depressing, but he got to his bed and found loads of mail! He was so happy to get the boxes with food and other things he and his men needed, but he said after everything he’d been through and the way he was feeling, the best mail was the cards and letters from me that said exactly what he needed to hear.
We never know how something we say or do will touch someone. TB was home on leave when I wrote those letters. There was no reason for me to write extra words of encouragement and love at that time. He received them exactly when he needed them, though. TB marvels at that. I’m just happy the things I send and the words I write help him get through the difficult times.
We never know how something we say or do will touch someone. TB was home on leave when I wrote those letters. There was no reason for me to write extra words of encouragement and love at that time. He received them exactly when he needed them, though. TB marvels at that. I’m just happy the things I send and the words I write help him get through the difficult times.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010
As a Military Mom and a Troop Supporter, what did 2010 give me?
Tears – more tears than I’ve ever cried in a year’s time. Tears of joy at a phone call, a package received, an email after a long silence, Free Mail, pictures, learning that someone is home safely. Tears of sadness from stories of missing home and loved ones, the loss of a friend, hunger, fatigue, loneliness: and knowing I can’t fix any of it. Many tears when the reality of TB’s impending deployment hit me. I remember telling him I had to get it out and be done with it; once that happened, I would be fine.
Laughter - at silly jokes and pranks, at stories about what Troops do with things I send, at responses to things I say. TB has a way of telling about a relatively normal event that makes you laugh and shake your head. We never have a phone call that isn’t peppered with laughter. Chats are the same. One way or another we always make each other laugh.
2010 gave me friendship – some fleeting, some lasting – hope for the future, and strength I never thought I’d have.
I joined Soldiers’ Angels to offer support and to show that people back in the States care. I’ve been blessed by that decision more than I ever imagined possible. For every letter, email, and package I’ve sent, for every bit of time and energy I’ve expended, I have been repaid more than ten thousand fold.
As the new year begins I look forward to more of the same – tears, laughter, friendships – and the joy of TB redeploying.
Tears – more tears than I’ve ever cried in a year’s time. Tears of joy at a phone call, a package received, an email after a long silence, Free Mail, pictures, learning that someone is home safely. Tears of sadness from stories of missing home and loved ones, the loss of a friend, hunger, fatigue, loneliness: and knowing I can’t fix any of it. Many tears when the reality of TB’s impending deployment hit me. I remember telling him I had to get it out and be done with it; once that happened, I would be fine.
Laughter - at silly jokes and pranks, at stories about what Troops do with things I send, at responses to things I say. TB has a way of telling about a relatively normal event that makes you laugh and shake your head. We never have a phone call that isn’t peppered with laughter. Chats are the same. One way or another we always make each other laugh.
2010 gave me friendship – some fleeting, some lasting – hope for the future, and strength I never thought I’d have.
I joined Soldiers’ Angels to offer support and to show that people back in the States care. I’ve been blessed by that decision more than I ever imagined possible. For every letter, email, and package I’ve sent, for every bit of time and energy I’ve expended, I have been repaid more than ten thousand fold.
As the new year begins I look forward to more of the same – tears, laughter, friendships – and the joy of TB redeploying.
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