Leadership

My oldest son and his wife are leaving for Arizona tomorrow morning for a canyoneering/camping vacation. They plan to run in the NYC Half-Marathon (13.1 miles) in March 2011. Registration opens next week, so he asked me to register them. I’m really proud of them for doing this. I can't imagine myself running 1/4 of a mile, much less 13!

TB likes to lift weights and work out. He hasn’t kept up with it as much as he would like, so he plans to focus on it more while he’s deployed. Thinking about all this running and working out reminded me of what TB was doing exactly a year ago. He was in an EIB (Expert Infantry Badge) class. I always try to find out as much as I can about what he’s involved in, so when he told me he would be doing that, I researched it. From what I read and from what people told me, I learned it's a very difficult class! TB came so close, but didn’t quite make it. The foot march was the last thing they had to do. Even though he was out, he did the march anyway, so he could encourage four of his buddies. If I recall correctly, a foot march is 12 miles with a 35 pound ruck. I think you have to finish under 3 hours. He felt he could help the guys by setting the pace. He’s a “foot march monster” and once he’s in the zone there’s no stopping him. I wish I could remember his time. I know it was under 3 hours. Doing that for those guys was a real sign of leadership. He didn’t have to do it, but he knew it was one of his strengths and even though he was out, he did what he could to help the others succeed. Later he told me that when he’s doing something hard like that, he thinks about me and how he doesn’t want to let me down or disappoint me, even when it’s something I don’t even know he’s doing. That was a year ago and I hope it still holds true. I want him to be focused and strong, mentally, physically, and emotionally, throughout his deployment.

Good Timing?

I was about to leave for work this morning when I received a text message from TB. He said to turn on Knocking Live because he was at Europa Park. I spent about 15 minutes watching as he walked around showing me various sights. After ending the video he said he would knock again when he was going on a ride. Just as I completed the 30 minute drive to school, I heard "knock knock knock". True to his word, I was able to go along on a ride. It's the only way I would be going on one of those things, that's for sure! I'm glad I wasn't driving either time, so I could see the things he wanted to share with me.

I remember when he was in Iraq, he would wake up in the middle of the night and get online. There were so many times when just a few seconds after that, I would log on. We rarely chatted for long, although at times he had difficulty sleeping and needed to talk. He was always amazed that I would appear at those times as if I knew he was there. There's no explanation, it just happened. Good timing, I guess ... or something else?

Tuna and Drink Mix and Snacks, Oh My

The last Wednesday evening of the month is Family Meal night at church. This Wednesday is our final one until September. Ham is being provided and we will all contribute other dishes. I rarely eat ham. I can't actually recall when the last time was that I had ham. However, we have great cooks at my church and the camaraderie is even better. I stopped by the store on my way home from school this afternoon to pick up the few items I'll need for the dessert I'm planning to take. Four items, that's it. It never works out that way. I'm always on the look-out for things on sale that I can send to soldiers and for TB's favorites. As usual, I came home with several full bags. For several months now I've been stockpiling items I know TB likes and things I know he will need. These boxes are filled with items for him. The copy paper box holds 20 reams of paper, so that gives some perspective on the size of the boxes.

Modern Technology

TB is on leave. Last week I found myself waking up in the wee hours of the morning - 3:30 or 4:00ish - so that I might catch him online. He can only be on for a short time and my luck was pretty good for about half the days. He learned about the Knocking Live app from a friend and told me about it last weekend. It allows you to share streaming live videos phone to phone. I recently acquired a Droid, so I was happy to see that it is one of the free apps for my phone. I'm not sure why, but I usually have to stop and restart the app before I can get his "knocks", which is what you hear when someone wants to share a video with you. It sounds just like someone knocking on the door. I'm thankful that he is always willing to try 2 or 3 times until it comes through.

This morning I was able to see him drive a motorboat on a beautiful lake. Later I watched as he walked around a zoo. It was fun to be able to see what he saw and experience a little of his leave right alongside him. I'm thankful there are so many ways to keep in touch with loved ones who are far away.

Training

When I first decided to write this blog my plan was to start writing on the day TB begins his deployment. It crossed my mind that those who love a Soldier have to prepare for deployment as well. At least that's the way it is for me. I can be a great Scarlett O'Hara -"I'll think about that tomorrow." I could put it out of my mind and let it come, sneaking up on me with little cat feet. However, knowing myself as I do, I believe those little cat feet would turn into ferocious tiger paws and knock me for a loop. And so I prepare, train, if you will, in little ways.

Several weeks ago I sent TB some prescription sunshades. In a way it was a goodbye package, so I included a few other items . . . a sandscarf, anti-fog lens cleaners, insect repellant, anti-itch cream, a phone card, self-addressed envelopes, writing paper . . . small things that can easily be tucked in the bag. I couldn't resist sending a small teddy bear that I had sewn wings onto. And a letter....words of encouragement, pride, and love... for those times when he needs a little boost.

Morale plays a vital role in a soldier's ability to focus and to carry out assignments effectively. As a member of Soldiers' Angels I've made many wonderful friends. I've been talking to my "angel" friends about adopting some of TB's soldiers and helping provide encouragement and support for his squad and a friend's squad. They depend on each other and the more supported each member of the squad feels the better they will all be able to do their jobs and keep each other safe.

Who We Are

I'm a wife and mother with two grown sons, a teacher, and a member of Soldiers' Angels. He (TB) is a father, a soldier, a man with numerous interests and talents, preparing to deploy to Afghanistan. Our paths crossed when TB was deployed to Iraq. I sent a letter and he responded with an email. As time passed and I discovered that he was not receiving support from an "angel" I adopted him. Over time we formed a bond that grew into the wonderful mother/son relationship it is today. When I take time to think about it, I'm amazed, because we couldn't be more different in almost every way. At the same time, we have common interests and we often see things through the same eyes. This path we've walked together has not always been smooth. Due to our different life experiences there have been rocks, even boulders, a few ruts, and a deep ditch or two. In the long-run every stumbling block served to make our relationship stronger.

I have been told by a few people that I cannot really know what it's like to send a son into harm's way, afterall, I've only known TB for a few years. When I mentioned that to him, his response was that no one questions the love a stepparent has for a stepchild. Our situation is similar. True, I did not give birth to him or raise him, but that does not negate our mother/son bond.